OXFORD WEEKLY PLANET

Monday, April 8, 2024

The View from Behind the Chair

In this edition: who got arrested and for what, where not to eat, and who needs a break

Greetings, peeps!

The View from the Behind the Chair is the only place you'll hear the things women only tell their hairdressers.

In the first chair, a source in the Yoknapatawpha County Sheriff's Department (thick hair and an excellent tipper) tells me that the Pastor Martinson homicide has finally produced an arrest. Not for the murder of the beloved minister but for a crime nearly as vile.

It seems that Joey Kemp, a man who I'm told wears caps for a very good reason, has been charged with embezzlement, allegedly stealing from the Fellowship of the Holy Spirit, from his cousin, and from the Internal Revenue Service. Ripping off God, his family, and the IRS? And some people try to prove they're tough by ripping off the mob.

In the second chair, a source in one of Oxford's go-to restaurants suggests that discriminating diners go to another as hairs have been found in several batches of seafood gumbo. The samples I examined were blond with split ends and slightly greasy to the touch. Yuck.

And in the third chair, a mother of two (harried but with an adorable cut) urges her fellow citizens to support the current fundraising efforts to send Oxford's deserving children to an overnight camp. Some quality time with her hubby would go a long way toward beating back those encroaching gray hairs.

I'm just hearing, and I'm just saying.

Posted by The Face in the Mirror at 4:37 PM