Excerpts from Katy's notebook

June 22

Spent a lot of time with Cody today outside of practice. He brought me a Snickers bar because he knows it's my favorite. I've been trying to make him understand that he needs to stop hanging on to me so much when school starts tomorrow. He needs more friends his own age.

It's my fault things have gotten to this point. I've always taken him everywhere with me, and I don't think he has any friends except my friends. But some of the girls have started making fun of him. Even Tim is doing it now. I have to help Cody grow up. If I don't, how will he survive next year when I'm gone?

June 24

Tim just left. He'd been drinking again, and whenever he does that, he turns into this angry guy I don't know. Or like.

I don't know what to do with him. I love him, but the person he turns into when he's had too much scares me.

July 2

I saw Tim talking to Paula again today in Square Books. I don't know what their deal is, but they always seem so secretive like they don't want me or anybody to see them talking. I don't like it, but whenever I ask him about her, he gets all weird and defensive. Maybe she's rubbing off on him.

July 5

Jen is acting so snotty again. I shouldn't have hit her, but sometimes she just goes too far! Who does she think she is, talking about Cody like that?

She hates it because I made captain. Well, too bad, so sad. Jen can suck it because I will never give that position up for anyone or anything. She isn't good enough anyway.

July 6

Sherry called today. I wish she would just leave me alone because even when she says she wants to talk about homework, it always ends up with her blaming me for her ankle. It was her own fault, but she won't accept her own clumsiness. She has to blame me. I don't know how we'll ever get past this, if we even can.

July 8

Just got off the phone with Tim. I made him call me because his texts were so weird. I told him if he didn't I was going to call his parents. He was pissed, but he did it. He said if I was going to keep being so manipulative, maybe he'd just stop texting me at all. I don't think that's fair. I was just worried about him.

He's so strange lately. He's always in a hurry, and he never wants to commit to plans until the last minute. Maybe he wants to break up, but if he does, why wouldn't he just say so? There must be something else going on. I just don't understand why he won't talk to me about it.

July 12

I think I'm going to look for another job. I love the library work, but David stares at me all the time, and it's getting creepy. Sometimes I think I should tell Mom and Dad, but they would totally flip out and probably try to have him arrested or something.

July 14

Gramma texted to remind me of our plans in the morning. She was so proud of herself for texting instead of calling. You go, Gramma.