Kimberly Pace journal excerpts, part 2

I can't believe that old fart! I tried to mend some fences. What a dumb move on my part. He wouldn't even take the invitation — for a Christmas party. What a jerk! This is supposed to be the time of year when you show goodwill toward men.

Well, I'm through trying to be the good neighbor. Through trying to keep Thoreau from bothering him. Merry f***ing Christmas, Arthur. Scrooge has got nothing on you!

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Well, the faculty Christmas party wasn't nearly as painful as I thought. Thank God. Laurence was only there for a few minutes. Hardly enough time to cut me to shreds. What is his problem, anyway? Why does he disapprove of me so much? Still, he's acting strange, even for him. He was actually civil, bordering on pleasant. I wonder if somebody spiked his cider? Hahaha. Don't sweat it, Kim. He'll be back to his old self come the first of the year.

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At least Mom liked the packages. The bright paper was a good idea — Becky was right about that. Still, I'm not sure who's the mother here. Between Mom and Becky, I don't know who needs more care.

God forbid something should happen to me. What would become of either of them? Maybe the life insurance policy isn't such a bad idea after all. I mean, what would Becky do if I couldn't be here for her and for Mom? How would she pay for the home? She barely makes enough to pay her rent and cover her expenses. Will Tinkerbell ever grow up? I better make sure things are covered… just in case.

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God, let me get through one more twenty-four hours without fighting with Paul. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, for God's sake. I have such a nice evening planned, don't let him ruin it.

Maybe I can cajole him by enlisting him to help me to send Arthur a gift. Like maybe a flaming heart-shaped box of dog poop! That would slay him!

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OK, on another break. I knew we couldn't go a whole month without one of his tantrums. And to make matters worse, Becky tried to defend him to me. I mean, what does she know? I love her, but she's not exactly an expert on men. Why is she always on his side?

Sometimes I think he picked the wrong Pace girl. Becky might be better suited to him than I am. There's a laugh, two children trying to have a relationship! Somebody has to be in charge. Shut up, Kim. You're being petty. It's no wonder Becky defends him. You're always so on his ass. I should call him, see what he's doing…

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I don't like the rumors. Maybe Paul is right — I need to put some distance between me and my kids. But it's just not my style. I wonder who's behind it. Laurence? No… not even Laurence would come up with something like this. Somebody told me Carter has been making cracks. That little s**t! He'd better be able to put his money where his mouth is!

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That little bastard! He actually wrote an article with another kid's name! The nerve this kid has is unbelievable. He'll be sorry. I confronted him, and he laughed at me. Well, soon he'll be laughing out the other side of his face.

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Thank God for Cheryl! The only grownup in my life besides me. She's right. Men are silly creatures. They need so much attention and care. It is like having children. I'll go to the opening. We'll talk, make up. Things will go better.

I know he doesn't believe I'm sleeping with my students. I know he doesn't. I'm going to adjust my behavior. I'm going to stop it. I really will. I'm not a kid anymore. I don't need to hang out with college kids to make myself feel cool or young or whatever I'm trying to make myself feel.

It's just been such a bad year. Everything is so hard. I can't even come home without being afraid I'll meet that bastard next door, giving me grief about this or that. He actually told me I had to get an operation on Thoreau so he would stop barking. Threatened to sue me! What have I done to deserve this guy?

Go to sleep, Kim. Tomorrow will be a better day.

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