Letter Excerpts – Dees

Jun 1, 2020

Letter Date: June 1, 2020
Postmark: Oxford, MS

Hey Andrea,

I know it might seem kind of weird for me to write you, given all the bull**** that just happened. I want you to know I thought it was bull****.

What I said, I said because they made me. I didn't want to do it. And I told them no way will I say anything else they wanted me to say. As far as I'm concerned, they can go to hell.

I wanted to tell you this in person, but I never got a chance.

We never really knew each other before all this happened. I hope you don't mind me writing you.

Benny.

––End letter––

Jun 3, 2020

Letter Date: June 3, 2020
Postmark: Oxford, MS

Hey Andrea,

It's me again. I hope you aren't weirded out because I'm writing you. We never really talked before at rehearsal about much, but I feel like I know a lot about you just from watching you and hearing you talk about the play. I feel like I was part of your work and in a way that's like knowing you.

I always wanted to talk with you, but I never had a chance. I didn't know what to say. You're not like the girls I know at school, for sure. And my mom's friends, forget it. They just talk about decorating and parties all the time.

I guess I'm trying to say you're different from anyone else I know, and I wish there was a way to get to know you better. Maybe you could write me back?

Benny

––End letter––

Jun 7, 2010

Letter Date: June 7, 2020
Postmark: Oxford, MS

Andrea,

I was kind of hoping you would write me back. That's OK. We never really got to know each other. I'll keep writing you, and that way, you'll get more comfortable with me. Then you can write me back. Maybe I could even come visit you. I won't pressure you, but all you have to do is write, and I'd be up for whatever.

I saw Frank today. He said you probably wouldn't try appealing the case. I said I knew you. I knew you would keep fighting for what's right. I said I'd bet him $20 you would fight back, but he chickened out. I guess he didn't want to admit that maybe I knew you better than him. But I just know you'll fight back.

You're a rebel. It might not seem like it, but I'm a rebel too. Sure, get good grades and all that. Did you know I want to be a doctor? My parents are doctors too, but I don't want to be like them. They're all uptight and only care about money, not their patients. Not me, I'm going to go to Africa and help fight Ebola and AIDS. That's what I mean about being a rebel like you.

I asked Frank what was up, like if you two were an item or what. He just laughed. He said you weren't exactly going to be anybody's girlfriend for a while. I asked why, wasn't he going to write you? He said something about you not being Eloise. I didn't get it. Sometimes Frank says some weird stuff.

Anyway, I guess I better go. I have to study for my make-up finals since I missed so much school because of … everything. Mr. O'Shea's class is being taught by a substitute now. No one knows if he's going to be back next year. It's all bull*****.

Benny

––End letter––

Jun 21, 2020

Letter Date: June 21, 2020
Postmark: Oxford, MS

Andrea,

You never write back. I've written you like 10 letters, and you never write back. I check the mail every day. I make sure to go out there and check the mail before my mom gets it.

If she knew I was writing you, she would freak out. They think they have me under their control, but I know how to get around them.

So maybe if you weren't writing because you were worried you'd get in trouble, don't worry about that.

Benny

––End letter––

Jul 2, 2020

Letter Date: July 2, 2020
Postmark: Oxford, MS

Andrea,

Remember how I told you Frank said something about Eloise? I looked it up in the library. It wasn't Eloise. It was Heloise. She was a nun, and she and a priest fell in love back in the middle ages or something. They didn't ever see each other, just wrote letters.

I've been thinking about you a lot. Spend so much time wondering if you're okay or if you're going to write me. I remember your beautiful face. I think about the work you were doing and how brave you are.

You really changed my life. I feel like nothing will ever be the same. I think I'm falling in love with you.

Benny

––End letter––

Jul 6, 2020

Letter Date: July 6, 2020
Postmark: Oxford, MS

Andrea,

I hope my last letter didn't freak you out. Maybe you think I'm weird to love you when you don't write back, when we didn't really talk that much before all this stuff happened. But we have so much to share together!

I swear if we could only talk, you'd see how much we have in common. We're both fighters. We're both individualists. Different from everyone else. Sometimes I think you're the only person who I could really talk to, who would understand what I think.

And you're so beautiful! Not pretty like a movie actress or all the cheerleaders at school. I can remember how your forehead would crinkle when you were thinking and how you would laugh. Remember one time we ordered Chinese, and we all ate together just before opening night? I remember you slurping noodles. You were beautiful even then.

I wish I could help you escape from jail. We could run away from all this bull**** and be together.

Benny

––End letter––

Aug 3, 2020

Letter Date: August 3, 2020
Postmark: Oxford, MS

Andrea,

I don't get you. Why didn't you want to see me? If you would only talk with me, you'd see we're meant for each other.

Even if you think I'm a total weirdo, I don't understand why you couldn't just see me and tell me to my face. Are you a coward?

I always thought you were brave, but maybe you're just a chicken. Maybe that's why you never appealed your case — you're a coward.

Benny

––End letter––

Sep 10, 2020

Letter Date: September 10, 2020
Postmark: Oxford, MS

Andrea,

I know it's been a while since I wrote. I'm sorry about what I said in the last letter about being a coward. I was just upset. I didn't know what I was saying, I was so upset.

I was suspended from school today for smoking in the parking lot. My parents are totally freaking out because I'm off the team, and it'll all look so bad on my college application. They're totally overreacting.

But none of that bull**** matters anymore. What matters is freedom, making money and being out on my own and having total freedom. I know you would understand.

I still wish you would write me. If you wrote me, we could be like that nun and priest. We could share our ideas in letters, and when you got out of jail, we could be together. It would be like we knew each other already for years.

Please write me.

Benny

––End letter––

Sep 19, 2020

Letter Date: September 19, 2020
Postmark: Oxford, MS

Andrea,

You still haven't written me. I'm beginning to wonder about you. Maybe that letter I wrote saying you were a coward was right. Maybe you're afraid of me. Or maybe you're afraid of people like my parents freaking out about the two of us. Or that we'll be caught and you'll never get out of jail. What happened to you? You used to be brave.

I used to admire you. I thought I wanted to be like you. But you don't have any balls. I'm stuck dealing with all kinds of heavy s***, losing my place on the team and not going to college and all that — and you don't give a f***. You won't even write two words to say you care.

I thought I wanted to be a rebel, but now I see I let it all slip away. And in a way, it's your fault — I looked up to you and wanted to impress you. Maybe my parents were right — you're a bad influence.

I would never write this to you if I thought you cared, but I know you probably burn these without reading them or some other bullshit. So I'll go ahead and say what I want, and I know it will never get back to them or anyone.

You ruined my life. I can't believe I wasted my time writing you.

Benny

––End excerpt––

Jan 10, 2021

Letter Date: January 10, 2021
Postmark: Oxford, MS

Andrea,

I made a New Year's resolution to give everyone a second chance, so here I am writing you.

Don't get me wrong. I don't have much to say to my parents. Their religious bull**** and materialism totally turn me off. Sometimes I can't believe I ever looked up to them.

I used to look up to you, too. I don't anymore. I don't know what I am. I'm trying not to be mad or sad, just to think about it, all the bull**** that went down and what it all means.

For now, that's really all I can say. I hope you're OK.

Benny

––End excerpt––